Freaks Review

Let me be perfectly clear before we dig into things: I WANTED to like Freaks.  The idea of a film that serves to remind the public that those with physical abnormalities are still people who just want to live their lives like the rest of us really seemed like a solid concept for a film, not to mention the fact that the film features real circus people.  And the fact that they were throwing in a plot about how true ugliness is on the inside only sweetened the deal.  But time and heightened standards have not been kind to Tod Browning’s cult classic.  Just about everything imaginable in this film is done poorly, from the sub-par acting to the stilted, awkward writing to the lackluster characters and padded-out story.  While it is a delight to see Freaks portray these people in a positive light (mostly), that alone does not make for a compelling or enjoyable experience.

The story is about as bare bones as you can get.  It all centers around Cleopatra, a glamorous acrobat and one of the stars of the sideshow, and Hans, a rich dwarf who has fallen madly in love with her because of her looks alone.  However, not only does Hans already have Frieda, a fellow dwarf, fawning over him, but Cleopatra soon finds out about his large inheritance and after starting a relationship with Hercules, the sideshow’s strongman, Cleopatra plots to marry Hans, poison him, gain his inheritance and run away with it and Hercules.  While that sounds like a premise for a decent story, very little is done with it.  With the hour runtime, only about half of it is devoted to Hans and Cleopatra, meaning not much time is given to properly develop these characters.  The other half, as we’ll soon see, is focused on the other circus freaks, seeing them converse with one another over either Hans and Cleopatra or their own daily lives.  With only half an hour to work with in an hour long film, the main story is simply played far too straight to leave any sort of lasting impact. 

And that’s before we get into the characters themselves, who all feel incredibly 2-dimensional.  Very little effort is made to flesh out these characters beyond their tropes.  Cleopatra is simply a vain narcissist who hates the circus freaks and uses Hans for his money.  Hercules is just the stereotypical macho man who uses his strength to get what he wants.  Venus, who apparently works for the sideshow, even though her role is left unexplained, tries to appeal to us as the wise woman who can’t seem to catch a break, but falls flat due to a lack of screen time.  Furthermore, this lack of development causes the film to absolutely drag, at least until the last 10 minutes, because I can’t bring myself to care for any of these characters if they feel so flat. The one “exception” to this rule would be Hans, as he gradually begins to realize that Cleopatra is simply using him to get to his fortune and sees him as just another oddity to laugh at, causing him to enter a depression over how dim he was to be bedazzled by Cleopatra’s looks and ignore the connection that he has with Frieda.  Unfortunately, this only serves to reveal just how flawed his character is.  On top of being gullible as all hell to think that Cleopatra truly loves him, despites have zero chemistry, he also ogles her right in front of Frieda, completely ambivalent to her feelings.  I just fail to see why we should sympathize with his plight if he goes ahead and displays such unsympathetic behavior. 

Now, to be fair, many of the freaks seem to have potential for expansion, such as the Siamese twins Daisy and Violet trying to balance two different marriages, but are never given enough screen time to develop beyond bit characters.  And the same can really be said for just about every character in Freaks.  They all have a good level of flair and personality and seem more than capable of delivering a solid performance.  But, just like the plot, they never seem to get enough screen time and are simply rushed along through their scenes, as if the director just wanted to jump to the grand finale.

And if you thought the plot and characters being flat was the worst of it, buckle the hell up because things only get worse from here.  When it comes to the script, neither the writing, nor the acting did Freaks any favors.  The writing is beyond stilted.   Perhaps it was simply a product of its time and people simply worked with a different vernacular than ours, but I seriously lost track of the number of awkward, unintelligible lines that were uttered.  Perhaps the bit characters didn’t suffer from this problem, but, once again, our main characters serve to rain all over the parade, as every line they utter comes off as far too theatrical for its own good.  Just listening to one of Hans and Frieda’s exchanges is more than enough to elicit a theater's worth of cringes.

Worse yet is the acting.  Again, the bit characters do a passable job most of the time, but holy mother of Moses are the main characters painful to listen to.  Hercules and Cleopatra are beyond cheesy, acting more like they’re in a drug-induced stupor than actually trying to sound convincing.  However, Hans and Frieda are the main culprits.  Not only are they essentially the polar opposites of Hercules and Cleopatra, in that they act about as stiff as a board, but you can’t even understand what they’re saying half the time.  I’m not joking.  They honestly just mumble half the time and I found myself having to rewind several times just to sort of pick up on what was being said.  It’s great that they went out of their way to use real circus people, but part of me is beginning to wish that they had stuck with actors in costumes if these are the performances they’re going to give us.

Hell, even the camera work could use some fine tuning.  The jump cuts are so sudden that it gives us absolutely no time to fully absorb a scene or set of dialogue, almost as if we were being bum rushed by the pacing.  To be fair, however, the cinematography is relatively effective.  Despite the editing blunders, the cameras spend just the right amount of time focused on each scenario or character’s reaction for us to understand the emotions being conveyed and there are even a couple of clever uses of lighting and camera angles late in the movie that really help to convey the drama of the whole dreary situation, in particular when Frieda confronts Hans in his trailer of sorts over how Cleopatra is obviously using him, causing Hans to move to a shadowy portion of the trailer, staring off into the darkness and dwelling on the predicament as Frieda tries to reach out to him from behind.  But, as effective as the cinematography is, it can only do so much to cover up such dismal performances.

Which brings us back to the eponymous stars of the film: the freaks.  As I brought up before, many of the circus folk are the genuine article. Browning went out of his way to fill the cast with as many legitimate oddities as he could, including Olga Roderick the Bearded Lady, Johnny Eck the Half Boy, Siamese twins Daisy and Violet Hilton and The Living Torso Prince Randian.  This helps to give Freaks a solid feeling of authenticity and makes us feel as if we were actually at the sideshow ourselves.  But the use of the freaks extends beyond simply their presence, as several “slice of life” moments are scattered throughout the film, showing the freaks going about ordinary tasks in their own fashion to show the audience how they are quite similar to us, such as the Human Torso rolling and lighting a cigarette, a woman with no legs drinking out of a glass by using her feet and the Bearded Lady giving birth.  Now, while this does serve its purpose and proves that, despite their appearances, the freaks still have lives to live, that doesn’t mean that it does much, if anything, to benefit the narrative.  It honestly does nothing to add to the plot surrounding Cleopatra and Hans.  Really, the only connection between the main plot and the freaks is that Cleopatra gets drunk late into the film and insults all of them, which in itself was revealed in the main plot.  When you take into account just how shallow and simplistic the main plot is, these scenes with the freaks come off as nothing more than padding.

As for why Cleopatra got drunk, we have to take a look at the ending of the film.  After marrying Hans in order to get to his inheritance, Cleopatra poisons Hans’ drink at the wedding reception, but not without getting drunk and berating the freaks when they begin a small ceremony in order to initiate her as one of them.  After Hercules chases the others off and he and Cleopatra proceed to embarrass Hans, both Hans and the other freaks begin to grow very suspicious of Cleopatra’s true motives, deciding to spy on her while she tends to Hans, whom has been sickened, but not killed, by the poison.   The freaks and Hans soon realize what Cleopatra intends and, during a rather nasty storm, corner Hercules and Cleopatra and proceed to mutilate the two of them in order to make them into true freaks.  Hercules gets a rather light punishment by being castrated, but Cleopatra is truly made as ugly on the outside as she is on the inside.  Turned in the “Human Duck”, she has her legs removed, the skin on her hands melted to resemble to duck feet and most of her remaining body permanently tarred and feathered.

Here is where I really find myself split about this movie.  Obviously, a proper punishment was necessary for Cleopatra’s attempted murder, not to mention her mistreatment of the freaks.  Her “freakification” seems like a solid case of poetic justice and I also commend Browning for showcasing this rather gutsy display in the 1930’s of all times.  However, we have to remember that it was not some sort of accident that caused this, but the freaks themselves; the people who we’ve been told this whole time are gentle, peaceful people that are just like those who gawk at them.  What does this say about them as a whole, that instead of bounding the would-be-murderers and turning them over to the police or, at the very least, killing them quickly, they decided to butcher them to make an example?  For me, it just leaves a rather dark blemish on my overall view of the freaks and, frankly, the movie as a whole, although with the amount of blemishes that this movie already has, it would be like spilling tomato soup on red curtains.

And if you haven’t figured it out by now, I think this film has aged about as well as a gallon of milk left out in the yard for a week in the middle of August.  On top of the questionable use of the circus folk, Freaks simply doesn’t have that much to offer as a film.  The story is far too short and simple, the acting and writing is laughably bad and almost nothing, save the appearance of the freaks, leaves any sort of impact on me.  I’d recommend it if you’re curious to see how the freaks live their lives, but even then, you’d be better off seeing a documentary about circus people, which is basically what this should have been in the first place.

Robocop Review

Take a second, if you will, and think this synopsis through: Alex Murphy, a former cop who was brutally killed in the line of duty, is reborn as a cybernetic, nigh-indestructible machine called Robocop who seeks to keep the peace and hunt down his murders.  If you read that and thought to yourself, “Oh, that must delve into a critique of corporate America, the culture of fear that our media has force-fed us and a man trying to regain his lost humanity”,…you’re a lying piece of crap.  Of all the things I could have expected out of Robocop, being a smart, brutally honest piece of parody was certainly not on my list.  Paul Verhoeven’s sci-fi cop film has a lot going for it, from a beautifully conducted soundtrack to expertly handled cinematography to some ridiculously satisfying action scenes and excellent special effects, despites the short comings that sprout from its sporadic acting quality and general lack of character depth.  However, many of these things are par for the course for action flicks.  But rarely do you see these types of movies show off their brains alongside the explosions and sink their teeth into some more complicated scenarios, let alone blend the two sides together as well Robocop does.

Now, while the writing and subtext are wonderfully put together, as well get into later, the overall plot is nothing grand.  Officer Alex Murphy (Peter Weller) is transferred into one of the most dangerous sections of a dystopian Detroit that is overrun by crime (so, in other words, just Detroit) and is partnered for a short time with Officer Anne Lewis (Nancy Allen), but is mercilessly killed by a gang of criminals led by Clarence Boddicker (Kurtwood Smith).  Meanwhile, the mega-corporation OCP is currently on contract with the city of Detroit to help the dysfunctional police department get its act together.  Furthermore, they are working to develop a new series of “robocops” to run the streets more efficiently.  While the ED-209 project, led by Richard Jones (Ronny Cox), fails miserably, a young up-and-coming executive Robert Morton (Miguel Ferrer) is leading another such project, instead taking a live subject, this being the recently deceased Murphy, and crafting him into a fusion of man and machine.  The rest of the story boils down to Murphy struggling to regain his past, dealing with Clarence’s gang and being caught in the middle of a power struggle between Morton and Jones.  The plot is not necessarily bad, by any means, but it’s still pretty average, at least on paper.  It’s ultimately the themes that will takes center stage in the film, but even they, ironically enough, expose the weaknesses of the story, as once you start to understand said themes, the story will become more than a bit predictable.

This doesn’t stop the film from succeeding in other departments, however.  First and foremost, the special effects are fantastic, save the clearly digitally rendered ED – 209 who comes out looking more like a bad hologram than a menacing robot.  The gore looks believable, whether it be a criminal getting his nuts shot off by Robocop or Murphy getting his brains blown out by Clarence, finding that perfect balance between subtle and disgusting.  However, the pinnacle of the film’s special effects lie nowhere else than with its titular character.  Robocop is an absolute marvel to behold, honestly convincing us that we are seeing a hybrid of man and machine and not just some guy in a cheap robot suit.  Every inch of him looks both amazing and imposing, including the craftsmanship around the Murphy’s body, the side compartment on his thigh that holds his pistol, a Wolverine-esque spike that protrudes from his knuckle and so on.  Even when he has to remove his helmet at one point, you can see that the machinery actually digs underneath the top of his face, almost as if his face was removed and wrapped around an exoskeleton.  I just hope that whoever managed the creation of that outfit got a raise, because God only knows they deserved one.

An impressive amount of work was also put into the atmosphere of Robocop.  The cinematography is top-notch, knowing just when to move in on someone’s face to capture their emotions and just when to show off entire rooms or venues to display the scale of the scenario.  Then there’s the backdrops, which do a fine job of selling the “dystopian future” motif.  From the grimy city streets to the factory district where Clarence’s gang operates, Detroit has never looked seedier, save for places like the OCP headquarters which look as sterile as a hospital.  However, the soundtrack does the greatest job of establishing the film’s ambiance.  Basil Poledouris does a fantastic job conducting Robocop’s music, throwing in some sci-fi elements, but retaining some traditional musical pieces as well, which seems appropriate because the setting is a blend between futuristic and 80’s style technology and architecture.  No two songs sound alike, save the leitmotif of the film, and each song compliments its respective scene quite well.

Of course, you can’t have an action movie without intense action scenes and Robocop simply refuses to fail in that department.  Coupled with the previous elements, the shootouts and car chases are stupid satisfying.  They’re well choreographed, that much is certain, but what really shines through is Robocop himself.  No matter what he does, whether it’s dealing with a hostage situation or shooting up a coke factory, he does it all while looking like an unstoppable badass.  He can walk through hails of gunfire, grab people through walls and throw them from third story windows, shoot down waves of gunman without appearing to do so much as try and even walks right through an exploding gas station like he only just lit a fart.  He has his moments of weakness, but that’s only for the sake of drama.  Most of the time, Robocop is simply a killing machine that will make even the most hardened criminals have to change their pants.

But once we get past the surface and dig into the meat of the film, that’s where things start to get complicated, both in a good and bad sense.  Let’s start with the negative elements first, which tends to be centered around the subpar drama.  Now, I know exactly what you’re thinking: “Are you seriously complaining about an action movie not having enough emotional moments?”  It may seem like I’m being unreasonable, but once you dig into the movie, you may start thinking this way yourself.  I’d typically forgo this type of critique with an action flick, but the problem is that the film actively makes an attempt at nailing down dramatic scenarios, albeit not as well as they could have.  On top of the intelligence that the writing shows throughout the film, as we’ll get into soon enough, many scenes seem like they should be more than capable of moving us in one way or another.

However, they ultimately suffer from two major issues.  First of all, Robocop’s acting is all over the place.  While some actors, such as Smith, Cox and Ferrer put together solid, believable performances, others like Weller and Allen have a tendency to fall short (Weller sounds robotic even before he becomes Robocop).  Not only does the bad acting obviously not help matters, but the sheer inconsistency between performances disrupts the flow of the film in a number of ways, as acting can range from decent to stiff to just flat-out hammy, the latter finger being pointed towards Clarence’s henchmen.

But even when we get a good performance, the other problem rears its ugly head: practically every character feels 2-dimensional.  That’s not to say that they lack personality, but that these personalities are incredibly simplistic.  Morton and Jones come off as stereotypical corporate executives; Murphy and Lewis are the stereotypical cops; Clarence and his cohorts are stereotypical criminals and so on and so forth.  So, unfortunately, even when the actors do a decent or even excellent job, their simplified characters don’t allow the emotional conveyance to be fully achieved.  In particular, the relationship between Murphy and Lewis, as well as Lewis’ transformation into Robocop suffer as a result.  Large chunks of the film are spent trying to convince us that Murphy and Lewis are close to one another, but since they spend all of one day on the force together, we hardly find this believable.  As for Murphy’s transformation, we never get the chance to see how much of an impact the transformation had on Murphy’s psyche, other than that he somewhat remembers Clarence and his family (whom we almost never hear about, despite an entire scene devoted to them where Murphy explores his old house). If more time had been devoted to developing these characters, the sky could have been the limit for these scenarios.

Thankfully, when God closes a door, he opens a window.  For the highlight of Robocop, aside from Robocop himself, is the subtext scattered throughout the film, displaying Verhoeven’s willingness and capability to take advantage of the settings and take a stab at a few deeper subjects.  For starters, there’s his take on corporate America.  From the moment we are introduced to OCP, we can see that they aren’t exactly painted in the best light.  Throughout the film, OCP is slowly trying to integrate itself into public services because of Detroit’s spiraling debt crisis, showing more concern for profits and bottom lines than the police force that they are undermining with their efforts (the police actually go on strike out of fear that Robocop will put them out of work). 

But, this negative portrayal becomes even more apparent once we enter the OCP headquarters, where corporate warfare reigns supreme.  We see this to a lesser extent with moments like Morton having Murphy’s perfectly healthy arm amputated during his transformation and the rivalry that develops between Morton and Jones because Morton upstaged him.  However, things get absolutely crazy when see that Jones has actually hired Clarence to kill Morton and even when ED-209 malfunctions and kills a board member, Jones straight up moves right past this and consults the Chairman of OCP over the debacle, more concerned with his job than the human being who was just butchered right in front of him.  Granted, these jabs are far from subtle, but they are none the less effective and display just how many people see corporate America.

Verhoeven also takes gives his take on the various shortcomings and frustrations surrounding American culture.  There are the more relatable moments that many people have experienced, that being the instances of robbery, rape and disgruntled employees raising hell that we look to heroes like, or at least similar to, Robocop to assist us with.  But, we also see what’s wrong with what we tend to take for granted every day: the media.  Whether it comes from the news or commercialism, we have been enveloped in a sort of culture of fear that has us worried about everything from national security to our health future.  The news programs that serve as transitions between scenes are typically fixated on violence throughout the world, while commercials are seen shilling nuclear war-themed Battleship clones and medical devices, just serving to further hammer home the idea of business being more concerned with profit than the effect it has on the public.

And even Robocop serves as an analogy for arguably the biggest message of the movie.  Many who have worked a low-end desk job or retail position would argue that these jobs can feel downright dehumanizing, making the worker feel more like a robot than a person.  I get the sense that Murphy becoming Robocop encapsulates this idea.  We already see OCP taking hold of the Detroit police, so wouldn’t this be the next inevitable step?  Isn’t it easier for the OCP to have machines doing the dirty work than people that require far more for their efforts?

And yet, it is from this transformation that we see that OCP’s plan is far from fool-proof.  Initially believing that they had wiped any sense of emotion and memory from Murphy, we gradually begin to see that Murphy’s human side, although seemingly locked away, has still remained largely untouched.  After suffering from a sort of nightmare while in stasis at the police department, Murphy begins to go out on his own initiative and seek out Clarence and the whereabouts of his family without being ordered to by his superiors.  On top of this, when it is revealed that Jones wants Robocop destroyed, Murphy removes his helmet, revealing his face, that being the one remaining organic part of his exterior body that remains.  In this, we can ultimately see a man who no longer wants to be defined by his job and instead wants the freedom to accomplish his goals under his own initiative.

And all of these themes come together in the final product to show that Robocop is not only exciting, but also quite brilliant.  The action and effects creates a fantastic viewing experience, but Verhoeven also shows that such a film that grabs your attention like this can also make you think and wake up to what’s occurring in your world.  Granted, there is the glaring problem surrounding the lackluster acting and characterization, as not only does it take away from potential drama, but it also feels like it could have absolutely been accomplished considering the capabilities of the director.  None the less, the unique blend of action, satire and analysis not only appear to make up for this, but also seem to blend quite well together, as they feel appropriately linked via the plot and never seem to obstruct one another.  If you’re not afraid to think a bit while taking in your dose of mindless chaos, Robocop is certainly worth your time.

Why We Bare Bears Succeeds As A Comedy

Even after having only aired seven episodes and a handful of promos, We Bare Bears is already looking to be one of the more prominent cartoons of the modern age, which is really saying something considering that we currently live in what many consider the new Golden Age of cartoons, with the likes of Adventure Time, Steven Universe and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic dominating the landscape.  There’s plenty to talk about with this show, considering the stellar voice acting, smooth, yet charmingly simple animation and catchy soundtrack.  But, what has really caught my attention thus far is just how side-splittingly hilarious it is.  Cartoons may not be my specialty when it comes to observation and critiquing, but I still know a good comedy when I see one.  Here’s why I think it’s so funny.

1. The Diverse Personalities of the Three Bears

As the main focus of the show, Grizz, the grizzly bear, Panda, the panda bear, and Ice Bear, the polar bear (all of whom are brothers), spend most of their time interacting with one another, so the best way to create memorable interactions between each bear is to give them each a personality that really stands out, which We Bare Bears nails down perfectly.  First, there’s Grizz, the unofficial leader of the trio.  Certainly the most outgoing of the three, Grizz comes off as very assertive and vocal in his opinions.  He’s always excited to interact and make new friends whenever he gets the chance and tends to initiate many of the adventures that the three find themselves in, such as suggesting that they start their own food truck upon realizing that Ice Bear is a tremendous cook in the eponymous episode “Food Truck” or deciding to get “revenge” on their new friend Chloe after they discover a report she did on them painted them in a rather negative light.

Unfortunately, his vibrant personality does little to cover up his rather comical flaws.  This expressiveness tends to leak into his less appealing traits, causing him to be a bit of a slob and rather glutinous, best showcased by his eating display in “Burrito” where he manages to swallow whole burritos in a matter of seconds.  He also doesn’t tend to think many of his plans through very thoroughly, as he fails to take into account the repercussions of feeding wildlife in “Food Truck” or the outcome of his plot against Chloe, leading to a series of mishaps that ends up causing the collapse of his entire plan.  None the less, he still remains a very likely character, as he’s more than willing to learn from his mistakes, stay optimistic to the very end and never forgets that he always has Ice Bear and Panda by his side.

Speaking of Panda, his personality can sort of be seen as the antithesis to Grizz’s.  A rather shy individual, Panda is the least outgoing and most sensitive of the three, more comfortable with following Grizz’s command than thinking of ideas on his own.  This sensitivity has lead to him being labeled the frailest of the three, not only physically, what with him getting injured from merely having a basketball thrown at him in “Our Stuff” and showcasing a severe peanut allergy in “Panda’s Date”, but also mentally, as even a mouse that finds its way onto Panda’s laptop in “Everyday Bears” frightens him, causing him to use up most of the day coming up with convoluted ways to capture the mouse instead of simply trying to grab it or scare it away.

That’s not to say that Panda doesn’t have his strong sides.  Not only is he a skilled artist, specializing in Anime, but he is also quite tech-savvy, spending many hours on his laptop or IPhone, sometimes even managing to use this to assist the trio, such as using a phone tracking application to find their lost backpack in “Our Stuff”.  And while his sensitivity can be seen as a weakness, he also tends to use it to his advantage.  He has a very tender, comforting side and has far less trouble keeping his emotions and judgment separated than Grizz does.  When pushed, he is more than willing to stand up for himself and note that something is wrong, like when he calls Grizz out for his obsession with food in “Burrito”.  He also has a romantic side, as he is always on the lookout for a girlfriend, although his meek side tends to cause his attempts to fall apart more often than not, such as his unsuccessful attempt to have a one-on-one date with Lucy, a new friend of the bears who saved Panda from an allergic reaction while trying desperately to keep his brother’s out of the picture.  Panda is certainly timid, but that doesn’t stop him from being rather amiable at times.

And then there’s Ice Bear…where do you start with this guy?  Ice Bear is typically seen as the comic relief of the show.  This is because he tends to be very quiet most of the time, letting Panda and Grizz do the talking.  However, when he does speak or interact, it’s a whole new ball game.  Not only does he talk strictly in third person, but his actions are downright bizarre.  He’ll tend to roll around for no real reason, say incredibly awkward phrases in the few instances where he speaks (“Ice Bear smells like clean babies.”) and will even cut his food with his own fire axe, all while maintaining a stoic, emotionless expression and voice tone while doing these things.  Saying that he’s the strangest of the three bears is more than a bit of an understatement.

But, if you pay close attention to his action during the show, you’ll find that they speak far louder than his words.  He may have a limited vernacular, but his skill set far surpasses his brothers’.  On top of his excellent cooking skills, he also cleans the house on a regular basis, knows martial arts, speaks multiple languages and even has a bit of an engineering background, as proven in “Everyday Bears” when he manages to reprogram a Roomba he ordered online after it malfunctions, even though it does goes on a destructive rampage shortly after.  Taking all of this into consideration, Ice Bear may not come off as the most outgoing or vocal of the trio, but his actions can certainly label him as the most responsible.

And yet, the best part of their personalities is not just how distinct they are, but how they juxtapose one another when the three interact.  Grizz’s assertiveness can, more often than not, lead to him taking things too far, such as his persistent attempts to become an internet celebrity, typically leading to him being scorned by Panda.  Panda’s bashfulness causes him to stand out like a sore thumb when compared to the levelheadedness of his brothers.  And I think it’s safe to say that Ice Bear’s antics stand miles above anything Panda or Grizz can dish out.  But despite their differences, they still manage to learn from their mistakes and come together as brothers should in the end, which not only warms the heart, but serves to solidify their relationship in all its awkward glory.

2. Well-Rounded Humor

As for the jokes themselves, there’s a solid blend of physical and verbal humor, but it also helps that the jokes are well-paced, never dishing them out so fast that we feel suffocated or just plain annoyed by them.  We’re given a second or two to breathe after the punch line and then they move on with the narrative.  Furthermore, the jokes actually have a sense of purpose to them.  Never does it feel like we’re entering a Family Guy or Uncle Grandpa scenario where the writers are just throwing out random thoughts off the top of their heads and seeing how the characters react to them.  Every time they crack a joke, it feels directly related to both the setting of the episode and the traits of each character.

Take, for example, the early goings of “Everyday Bears”.  Grizz goes to check the mail, but then notices several humans playing with a frisbee, immediately enticing him to join in.  Meanwhile, Panda is surfing the web in his room, checking out various Facebook posts and what have you.  The joke here is that every once in a while, it will cut to a behind shot of Panda and the window in his room, where we can see the Frisbee being thrown outside while Grizz cheers them on.  Not only does this joke showcase the vastly different routines of the individual bears, but it also plays off of their established character traits, Grizz being more outgoing and Panda being more reserved.

And what’s even better is that these types of jokes are always balanced perfectly between kid’s humor and adult humor.  The bears are constantly interacting with their surroundings in real-world scenarios, leaving plenty of potential for very generalized humor, but the execution is what sells it.  The three tend to find themselves involved in wacky shenanigans, giving kids something to laugh at, but they never do it in an overly-cutesy manner.  They simply handle the situation as normal people with these traits would.  It’s this type of well-rounded humor that always keeps me coming back for more.

3. It’s Relatable

Arguably the most defining feature of We Bare Bears’ comedy stems from the aforementioned real-world scenarios.  The best type of humor is not just jokes that you understand on a technical level, but references to things that you feel like you can understand on a personal level.  Because they avoid delving into fantasy elements or focusing on over-the-top cartoonish antics a la Tom & Jerry, the viewer is able to more closely associate with the various scenarios in each episode, as well as the defined personalities of each bear.

From what we’ve seen so far, the bears have gone on an adventure to reclaim their stolen property, attempted to become internet celebrities, tried to start their own business, had rather complicated relationships with multiple human friends and simply went about their normal routines.  Antics are thrown into the mix in order to give the episodes comedic flair, but the context still remains.  These are all events that could realistically happen to you or me at one point or another.  And because we could see ourselves in the shoes of the bears, the humor is magnified because of our greater understanding of it.

There are also valuable lessons to be learned at the end of most episodes, adding on the realistic nature of the characters and their undertakings.  A good number of these lessons stem from the personal flaws of one or more characters, such as Panda’s bashfulness leading to him shutting out his friends in an attempt to get closer to Lucy instead of simply being honest with them or Grizz’s determination clouding his judgment in his quest to become famous on the internet.  In the end, they always tend to learn from their mistakes and become better people…er, bears as a result.  These character evolutions allow us to continue to relate to the bears, causing us to be more closely affected by the humor, not to mention that the lessons concern topics that anyone, not just children, can appreciate and learn from.

Yes, you're probably going to cry over a grizzly bear falling in love with a giant burrito.

And even the inclusion of some drama can actually benefit the humor.  Going back to the episode “Burrito”, Grizz falls madly in love with a giant burrito, only coming to his senses in the end when the burrito explodes after being struck by lightning during a storm and his friends help him realize that they’re far closer to him than food could ever be.  However, it is revealed in a flashback at the end of the episode that Grizz actually got stuck at the top of a tree as a cub during another lightning storm, only to be saved by grabbing on to a fireman’s arm, which just so happens to have a portion of his uniform that looks very close to the giant burrito, meaning that Grizz subconsciously felt attached to the burrito because of its similarities to the very thing that “saved” him and comforted him as a cub.

On top of being surprisingly heart-breaking for this type of show, this drama makes Grizz feel more alive, more realistic as a character.  The fact that he has been shown to have subconscious trauma from his past is, again, something that the average person could associate with, allowing them to relate back to him more easily.  And conversely, the show’s humor makes them more likable, amplifying the effectiveness of the drama because we care more for the characters.  What all of this boils down to is that Grizz, Panda and Ice Bear, even with their exaggerated traits and the fact that they’re anthropomorphic bears, simply feel like real people.  Because of that, we are able to understand and appreciate the humor that much more.

And when all three of these elements come together, they create what I find to be one of the funniest, surprisingly touching cartoons I’ve seen in a long time.  The well-rounded humor is one thing, but when you throw in a cast of relatable, diverse and loveable characters like the bears, We Bare Bears shows that it’s something special.  It actively fuses the humor and characters into one plane and allows the writing to flourish as a result, using the jokes as a way to make the protagonists more engaging; not just as a tool to advance the plot and get some cheap laughs.  This show is a testament to what happens when writers really put their hearts and souls into a product and I can’t wait to see where it goes from here.

Nine Things You Should Remember Before Starting A Souls Game

Dark Souls 3 has finally been announced and with its early 2016 release date already established, we have less than a year to prepare for the inevitable onslaught of rage quits, smashed controllers and shattered relationships that will accompany it.  Having beaten the first three Souls games by this point (I’ll be getting to Bloodborne soon enough), I know these acrimonious sensations all too well, having spent 90 hours alone on Dark Souls, several of which attributed to three back-to-back, rather unwarranted shouting matches with my mom over the course of three days (Thanks a whole fucking lot, Ornstein and Smough!).  None the less, many of us will doubtlessly attempt to brave Atlus’ daunting challenges one more, willing to put our collective sanities on the line for whatever may compel us to play these games.  

And those of you who have never touched this series before and do not fully understand why these games have infuriated so many must understand one thing: it is not just the brutality of these games that has enshrined them in infamy; it is the psychological impact that can leave its toll in ways you may not even be able to comprehend.  The Souls series is not your average beat-em-up.  You can’t simply find the biggest weapon you can get your hands on and start wailing on everything.  You have to think before you act, or else your oversights and bravado will be your downfall, with even the weakest of enemies standing a chance at sending you back to a bonfire if you get too confident. 

Because of this, I have found that no amount of strategy guides and wikis will save your ass if you don’t have the appropriate mindset.  Mind you that this isn’t a beginner’s tutorial and I won’t be going over the basics of the games.  Rather, I’m presuming that you have at least a rudimentary understanding of the control scheme and rules of them and will be focusing more on general strategies than specific technical details, as anything I have to say will be meaningless without you knowing how the simpler mechanics work.  That being said, here are nine of the most important things that I find you need to keep in the back of your head as you venture forth on your respective playthrough.

1. Look Ahead

First and foremost, you need to first analyze the threats ahead of you before tackling them.  Don’t simply think you’ll know what to expect from a group, even if you’re familiar with these types of foes.  Focus on what they’re capable of by themselves and together and how you can counter these attack patterns.  If you’re encountering a new enemy, don’t attack immediately.  Either stay on your toes or keep your shield up and test the waters.  Let them strike first and gain a sense for their move set, then strike once you’re comfortable with fighting them. 

Don’t forget about your surroundings either.  Whether you’re in a tight corridor or on a narrow cliffside, remember to alter your strategy in a fashion that allows you to compensate for the new terrain.  Try to use thrusting weapons or magic in tight corridors and taking a slow, methodical pace on cliffs by striking once and backing up, lest you get caught in the heat of the moment and try to side roll.  Also, keep any pitfalls you see in mind at all times, whether during battle or when you’re simply scouting out the area for treasures.  This may seem like a given, but sometimes the simplest of dangers can undo your progress if you neglect them.  Never lose sight of how much room you have to work with, or you’ll find that the terrain can be just as treacherous as the enemies.

Finally, you’re going to find that many areas are either packed with traps or are as dark as a conservative talk radio host’s heart.  Just like with combat, don’t jump into things.  Take your time when entering any new area and survey every crevice and tile.  Many of the traps tend to stand out if you don’t dash through areas, but will punish the impatient.  Just remember that time is on your side; learn every detail and almost nothing will take you by surprise.  As for dark areas, try to keep various landmarks in mind as you continue to explore so that you associate them with new sections that you encounter.  If you come across enemies in an area that is particularly dark, simply lure them back into an earlier room that you’re more familiar with and deal with them, then return and analyze it, just in case you return there in the future.

Just respect your environment and it will return the favor.

2. Understand Your Limitations

I cannot stress this enough: this is not your traditional beat-em-up.  On top of utilizing an RPG stats system, these games are also based in an open-ended world where many dungeons are available to the player from the get-go, provided that you can reach them in the first place.  That being said, your best bet is to follow a walkthrough that will give you a sense of where to go.  As tempting as it may be to go out and explore, many of these areas are scaled in a linear sense for the player to follow in a mostly specific pattern and will be too difficult to handle at first.  Like any RPG, simply stick to the weaker enemies at first, build up your stats and work your way towards the tougher enemies down the road.

Furthermore, you should also pay close attention to your characters movement patterns.  In games like these, it’s not enough to roll aimlessly out of the way or throwing your shield up at any given moment.  Timing is everything and, whether you’re going toe-to-toe with a boss twenty times your size or a horde of undead, one misstep can cost you dearly.  Focus on how long it takes to take a sip of your Estus Flask, how long it will take an enemy to connect with a strike and so on.  If you can grasp the intricacies of both your character’s motions and the enemies, it’s going to make your experience far easier.

3. Stick With What You’re Comfortable With

Throughout these games, as in any adventure title, you’re bound to find a plethora of equipment that can make your journey more manageable.  You’ll see charms and rings to boost your magical powers, armor and shields that seem sturdy enough to withstand the wrath of even the largest beasts and weapons that appear to be capable of clearing a room full of foes in mere seconds.  While all of these may seem tantalizing, appearance and even higher base stats are not everything.

What you’ll really want to focus on initially is how the weapon handles and whether or not it compliments your play-style.  Are you more inclined to get in quick swipes and back away?  Try daggers or rapiers.  Are you willing to play it risky and get more bang for your buck?  Give axes and broadswords a try.  Do you prefer to keep your distance and pick away at enemies from afar?  Stick to magic or bows and arrows.

On top of this, the name of the game is not about just finding the best weapon, but also upgrading them to achieve the maximum damage output.  Initially, it would make sense to get better equipment, since you typically start with a rather dismal repertoire that won’t get you very far past the first few dungeons.  However, as time goes on and you put together an arsenal that you feel comfortable with, make sure to think long and hard about any potential changes to it.  Upgrading is not only essential, but also very time-consuming, as smithing materials can be very hard to come by down the road.  If you truly feel like this new weapon is superior to your current tool and you’re up to the task of perfecting it, give it a try.  Otherwise, one would be wise to stick with what has gotten them this far.  No point in fixing what isn’t broken.

4. Divide and Conquer

If the speed and strength of your foes doesn’t become an issue, their numbers certainly will.  You’re going to come across many instances where two or more enemies will be grouped closely together and, as I’ve mentioned before, the last thing you want to do is bum rush them.  Since many enemies are attracted to the player based on your proximity to them, the best thing to do is inch forward until only one starts to make its way over.  Then simply back up a decent amount, eliminate them as you see fit and repeat this until only one remains.  However, if attracting two or more of them is inevitable, all you can do is keep your guard up and closely watch their attack patterns until one leaves himself open.  You can also try various poison or fire bombs if you have them at your disposal, but patience will always be your strongest asset in these situations.

5. Bait Them into Attacking

If ever there was an optimal time to strike an enemy, it would be at the end of an attack animation.  Upon performing one of these animations, most enemies typically require a second or more to revert back to their walking animation, leaving them open to attack.  In other words, master those dodging skills.  Study the attack patterns and as soon as you appear to be out of harm’s way, bash their heads in.  However, this also brings us to point #6…

6. Don’t Get Greedy

Too often do the deaths of players spawn from our innate desire to finish the fight as quickly as we can, particularly during boss battles, since that alleviates ones paranoia surrounding the risk of death, losing their souls and having to restart the level.  Trust me when I say that this urge is completely natural and understandable, as I have succumbed to it multiple times in the past, but will leave you absolutely hating yourself when it inevitably gets you killed. After a certain period, enemies simply won’t be stunned by attacks and will commence their attack animation regardless of how hard you hit them.  As always, patience is your ally.  There’s no time limit on any of these levels, so simply take it nice and slow and strike when you can, not when you want to.

This rule also extends to soul collection.  We all love the satisfying feeling of seeing our soul counter get higher and higher as we fantasize about all the items and levels that we can purchase with them.  That’s a given.  But as that counter slowly begins to fill, think to yourself: how much do I really need?  If you’re in a new area with enemies and terrain that you’re unfamiliar with, is it really worth the risk to see whether or not you can reach six figures?  Even if you find yourself halfway through this new level, think about what those souls could purchase.  If it isn’t an amount to write home about, moving on should most likely be your first choice.  However, if you have enough to level up five times and buy a brand new set of armor, it might be time to swallow your pride and head back.

7. NEVER Get Cocky

Believe it or not, there will be portions of these games that you’ll find yourself breezing through, whether it be because the enemies follow a rather predictable pattern, you’ve been doing a fair amount of grinding or you’re simply on a bit of a lucky streak.  Considering how much hell the Souls series has been known to give players, it is VERY easy to get overconfident from that point onward.  Hell, if you can handle what one of the most notoriously difficult game series’ in history can throw your way, you must be unstoppable.  Nothing can stand in your way!  May the Lord help any black phantoms that cross your path!  YOU ARE A GOD AMONGST MEN!

Yeah…cut that shit out.  Now.

The very last thing you want to do in these games is get cocky.  It may seem inevitable, even natural, to feel like you’re untouchable when you do exceptionally in games like these, but remember: cockiness leads to carelessness; carelessness leads to mistakes; mistakes lead to death.  Enemies and the environment can and will punish even the minutest mistake by, at least, taking a nice fat chunk out of your health bar if you’re lucky.  If you don’t stay on your toes, you’re gonna get sloppy and you’re gonna be kicking yourself for it when it costs you souls.

Simply put, you’re not invincible.  Get your head out of the clouds and focus.

8. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask For Help

This one can be attributed to pride more than anything else.  The Souls series has always been heralded as a set of finely crafted games for a number of reasons, but that’s not the only reason that people play them.  Considering its reputation, many play these games as a rite of passage within the gaming community.  To say that you completed one of them is a badge of honor that any gamer would wear with pride.  So, if you’re going to be one of those people, the last thing you’re gonna do is use a walkthrough, right?  Who cares if it’s mind-bendingly difficult?  You’ve been playing video games for your whole life and dammit, you’re gonna press on!

Now, while this mentality is very common (God only knows I’ve been there before), the Souls series simply isn’t designed to be beaten by oneself.  Many things are not exactly made obvious to newcomers, such as how to produce better weapons and armor, and even directions may elude them from time to time.  This is because the games were intended to be community based; to have the community work together, collect data and share tips with one another in order to overcome the challenges (which also explains the in-game messages and blood stains).  Whether you believe this to be a flaw in the games or not is none of my business.  The point is that this is how the games are designed and if you want to spend less time gritting your teeth in frustration and more time actually progressing, you’d be smart to bookmark a few walkthroughs and wikis for reference.

Believe me; the rest of the game will pose more than enough of a challenge for you.

9. Understand That Death WILL Happen

This one may come off as very difficult to accept, but just hear me out.  No matter how much you practice, how much you grind, how careful you are and how much caffeine is running through your body, that dreaded “YOU DIED” screen will inevitably appear now and then.  You may not want to hear this, but you’re going to make mistakes. You’re going to panic occasionally during your first outing in a new level.  You’re going to get overwhelmed by the sheer amount of enemies in these new areas.  You’re going to misstep sometimes and fall to your death.  You’re going to forget to ration out your healing items and run out at particularly inopportune times.

You’re going to die.  A lot.

But you’d be surprised what accepting this fact can do for your attitude.  If you greet death with rage and frustration, that anger will linger throughout your play session.  You’ll want to blame the game.  You’ll begin to lash out at those around you.  You’ll start smashing controllers and screaming at the top of your lungs.  And your concentration will suffer as a result.

Instead, when it happens, think to yourself: “Why did I just die?”  Go back to the moment of your death and examine the scenario you were faced with.  Perhaps you got too greedy with your attacks and got crushed by the boss?  Maybe you didn’t take a dark area slowly enough and fell into a pit?  Or could you have simply not put enough distance between yourself and the enemies when you tried to take a sip of your Estus Flask? 

Whatever the reason, it is better to focus your anger towards something productive than mindlessly flying off the handle.  Hold yourself accountable for your mistakes, figure out how to avoid them and try harder next time.  And, most importantly, understand that you will die here and there.  It happens to the best of us, but it does not mean that the game is over.  If you hunker down and keep looking forward, you can and will succeed.  Just remember:

“…people die.  But death is not defeat.” – Hal “Otacon” Emmerich

And that’s about all I can give you.  Keep in mind that by no means am I any sort of “Souls expert”.  I haven’t dedicated my life to surveying every element, weapon, enemy and character build under the sun.  Nor do I imagine will this guide be the end-all, ultimate reference guide for Souls players.  I’m simply another gamer who has experienced firsthand the merciless power of these games and felt like it was my duty to help others grasp the challenges before them.  No amount of my experience will be a good enough substitute for your own personal experience, so I can only hope that this guide will make your time somewhat easier.

Best of luck.

Valiant Hearts: The Great War Review

“Wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows.”

                     - Martin Luther King, Jr.

There’s no way around it: war is hell.  Countless dead soldiers and bloodstained battlefields can attest to this a thousand times over.  I think we can all agree with that, at least to some extent, as have literature, films, paintings and other mediums in their countless attempts to capture the mind-numbing brutality of this necessary evil.  Obviously, video games are not ones to shy away from this topic, especially considering the popularity of the Call of Duty and Battlefield franchises.  But if you take a second to really examine these games, you’ll find that most of them typically put forth little effort to showcase the full impact of war, outside of its affects to the combatants.  Nine times out of ten, these games will focus on either delivering intense, visceral combat or taking control of entire armies and leading them into battle. 

Either way, games that hope to reveal the true face of war, that being its mental, emotional and psychological toll for both soldiers and civilians, are unfortunately few and far between.  Granted, this concept may not be the most glamorous idea to advertise, but a truth such as this is one that still needs to be shown to the public, and Valiant Hearts: The Great War is more than up to the task.  Based around the eponymous “Great War”, Ubisoft Montpellier’s depiction of the First World War does not seek to be the next great FPS or produce another glorified game of chess.  Rather, it aims to construct a far more humble experience, utilizing puzzles as its primary gameplay component and allowing for us to divert our attention more so to our surroundings, giving us time to develop a greater recognition of just what war is capable of.  It may have its share of minor flaws, such as narrative quirks and ambiguous objectives, and its art style is undeniably unorthodox, but Valiant Hearts certainly succeeds at its principal goal: teaching us one of life’s most callous lessons, whether we want to listen or not.

                This lessons all starts with the graphics and sound of Valiant Hearts.  Naturally, it goes for a very drab, depressing style, but it oddly enough also captures the characters and their surroundings in a relatively cartoonish, almost caricature-esque fashion, albeit with a more reserved, realistic take on their gesticulations.  Houses and hilltops alike either bear the scars of war or at least have their color scheme dulled, but are also shown in a very sketchy style, with pencil markings apparent on many surfaces.  That is not to say that all locations have this macabre appearance, such as earlier stages set across the rather vibrant and lively France, but when the game needs to capture the horrors of war, it does not hold back.

And the same can be said for the game’s heavily piano-based soundtrack.  Each song appropriately matches its pertaining level, perfectly capturing every type of emotion that needs to be conveyed, from a slow, heart-string tugging piece when tending to wounded soldiers to far more intense, pulse-pounding segments when rushing through trenches and enemy machine gun fire.  There are even some tributes to more popular orchestra piece, like Flight of the Bumblebee, during certain sections of the game to deliver a more light-hearted tone (more on that later).  It’s nothing that we’ll remember years from now, but the music still performs its duties well enough to keep us transfixed on the game.

But why the cartoonish art style?  Personally, I have no strong feelings about the general visual appeal of the graphics, if only because they feel somewhat out of place.  They do their job perfectly fine, but their impact comes less from the graphics alone and more from how they meld together with the rest of the game.  However, I can commend the art style on what I assume it was utilized for.  As I’ve said before and will no doubt say many times after this, war is a violent spectacle that can cause even the most hardened of veterans to wince.  Not everyone is up to the task of seeing the bloodshed up close; even those who are simply learning about its history.  Utilizing less realistic graphics, while still implementing dramatic storytelling and portraying the bellicose turmoil that the war begets, as we’ll see later, allows the player to be able to stomach the tragedy while still understanding it and its impact, even if the later stages can really push the envelope on illustrating the brutality.  I’m not the hugest fan of the art style, but I can at least understand its purpose.

As for the gameplay, as I mentioned before, Valiant Hearts falls away from the cliché war game styles and prefers to create a puzzle-based experience which, although it is not unheard of, manages to explore each element of war quite successfully.  The player controls one of several characters throughout the game, typically traversing various 2D plains in order to accomplish the current objective, whether it be trying to cross a series of trenches in order to push back enemy forces or exploring a small town and trading various items in order to get a new wheel for your car.  The former sequences are quite fast paced and typically have the player dodging mortar fire and machine guns, as well as cutting away the occasional barbed wire or digging through specified patches of dirt.  The latter are more laid back, allowing the player to analyze their surrounding and piece together what item needs to go where in order to spark a chain of events that leads the player to the item required to end the mission.

You are also given a throwing mechanic that shows the trajectory of whatever you are throwing, typically a grenade to destroy an obstacle, and are occasionally accompanied by a Doberman Pinscher named Walt who can retrieve various items that the player cannot reach or act as a second player to activate various switches and levers when the player is occupied.  Generally, these levels function quite nicely, giving the player a clear objective and understanding of how certain puzzles function.    However, although it is rare, some levels can suffer from a sense of ambiguousness surrounding objectives (the P.O.W. camp) or even what certain items are supposed to be, but this occurs so sparsely that it’s not something worth losing sleep over. Some puzzles can be also quite challenging, but neither the dodging of mortars, nor the more relaxed puzzle sequences, ever feel cheap or downright impossible to figure out without a guide; a bit of common sense and critical thinking can go a long way. 

On top of this, Valiant Hearts spices things up here and there with vehicle segments and healing mini-games.  A few of the former segments feature the player driving tanks across battlefields in order to break through enemy lines more swiftly, albeit while dealing with enemy machine guns and fighter planes.  As for the rest of the segments, this is where Valiant Hearts takes a strange, but none the less humorous, turn.  Trying to experiment with some comic relief for these parts, which I’ll be delving into later, these sections have the player driving an old (and I mean OOOOLLLLD) car along a road with the camera facing towards them, giving us a behind view similar to the boulder segments in Crash Bandicoot.  The segments will task the player with dodging a variety of obstacles, such as mortars, other cars, barrels and the like, depending on the current scenario, all attacking the player in sync with an accompanying well-known music piece, essentially turning the segment into a music mini-game.

Like the issues I brought up with the art style before, I have nothing bad to say about these mini-game by themselves, as they function well enough and can be quite exhilarating at time.  But, like the art style, they just feel totally out of place.  Chase sequences would have been fine, but turning them into musical mini-games, particularly when you take the game’s focus into account, makes the sequences unnecessarily awkward.  The healing mini-games, on the other hand, feel right at home with the themes at hand.  Whenever you encounter an injured NPC, you can sometimes initiate a healing segment which boils down to timed button prompts as you go about performing the necessary steps towards treating them, such as dulling the pain with a swig of whiskey or removing a bullet.  What makes these segments stand out is the emotion tied to them  Not only do you hear every scream and groan of pain from the victim, but you also run the risk of killing them if you cannot perform the button prompts correctly, which does get trickier in later levels.  When taking these factors into account, these segments can get downright hair-raising.

But going back to the bulk of the game, the puzzle sequences can offer far more than the occasional brain teaser.  For example, most levels have various historical relics scattered across them.  Upon collecting them, the player gains access to little factoids that explain the significance behind what they just collected, be it a letter written by a homesick soldier, sterilizing solutions used to purify water or the various weapons used during the conflict.  They don’t add much depth to the game, but they at least help the player grasp what occurred during the war.

There are also some odd little quirks and glitches that occur throughout that don’t exactly ruin the mood, but can certainly leave the player laughing inadvertently or scratching their head at what they just witnessed.  Characters will occasionally moon-walk after returning from a cutscene and the enemy guards can be downright robotic at time.  Granted, I understand that we’re dealing with a puzzle game and not Splinter Cell, but how many times am I expected to accept the idea that the German soldiers wouldn’t find a random dog walking past them, snatching up various supplies and running off with them just a tad queer?  So, yes, these moments can lead to some rather odd moments in Valiant Hearts, but all of that pales in comparison to what the gameplay is truly capable of. 

What’s really alluring about making a puzzle game based around World War I is just how humbling the experience is when compared to your average war game.  When the very term “war game” is mentioned, how can you not immediately think of Call of Duty, of a nameless warrior barreling down a corridor and blowing away anything with a pulse?  To be fair, this type of gameplay does show us the intensity of war and how death can emerge from behind any corner, but practically every other aspect of war is completely overshadowed by the sometimes mindless FPS mechanics.

With Valiant Hearts, it becomes readily apparent that your characters are not killing machines.  They can’t perform amazing acrobatic feats, pull off headshots from 300 yards away or take down a platoon of soldiers single handedly.  They’re all working-class folks that just feel human, having to work past their limitations and use their brains instead of a wide array of weapons.  Because of this, you don’t get to shoot all your troubles away.  You have to face them head-on, whether they are emotional or tangible, and it is here that the game truly prospers.

Perhaps I should have brought this up first, but I always feel like the most important element of a game deserves to be brought up last.  Writing etiquette aside, Valiant Hearts starts at the very beginning of the First World War, wherein a German-born farmer named Karl is deported back to Germany while he lives in France with his wife Marie, his son Victor and his father-in-law Emile.  Karl is drafted into the German army, while Emile is soon drafted into the French army, leaving Marie to fend for herself and Victor.  Along the way, Emile comes across an American soldier named Freddie, who joined the war as a means of revenge against the German military, a high-ranking officer named Baron von Dorf in particular, because of one of their bombing runs that killed his wife shortly after their wedding in France, as well as Anna, a Belgian medic who throws herself into the war effort, primarily helping injured soldiers on the front line.  Together, they both delve into their own personal missions and work side-by-side in order to face down everything that the war can throw at them, although some characters end up having more success than others.

I could spend hours upon hours deconstructing this story from beginning to end, but just take my word for it when I say this it is a pure emotional roller coaster that very few games can match, at least in my opinion, and it all starts with the general structure of the narrative.  Each chapter is paced perfectly, both in action and narrative delivery.  Once you’ve completed an action sequence, it will typically be followed by a more relaxed, albeit occasionally stressful, sequence that lets the player absorb everything that happened previously.  Better yet, no one’s story every feels rushed.  Whether characters are working together or independently, as soon as someone gets some screen time, the next person will get an ample amount.  And that’s before we even get into the meat of the narrative.

Valiant Hearts’s uses a very minimalistic script, with actual voice acting only being used for narration, occasionally from Marie or Emile as they write letters, but mostly from Dave Pettitt, who serves as the nameless narrator.  Pettitt’s performance is nothing short of haunting throughout the game and you get the sense that his voice was made to talk about this subject.  Every utterance from him makes it feel like he was there in person to witness the violence, and even when he speaks of lighter news, his voice still has a depressing tone that simply won’t allow us to forget what has transpired around us.  Surprisingly, however, the seemingly mute characters are just as, if not more, adept at emoting as the story unfolds.

Most of the characters do speak through quick journal entries found in the menu, but most of the time, they and the NPCs that comprise this world speak in a relatively unintelligible imitation of their native language, spouting it in a fashion that doesn’t sound too distant from Simlish.  Even when a character needs to specify something, such as a destination, they will instead show a speech bubble that is filled with symbols of what they are trying to discuss.  This all goes back to the cartoonish art style of the game, but it also allows for the player to ignore what these individuals are saying and focus on their actions.  We don’t find ourselves transfixed on what one statement might have meant and prefer to focus on how Emile is helping Freddie through a particular mission to overthrow a German weapon manufacturer or how Anna is assisting various civilians in a war-torn portion of France.  This lack of speech allows the player to make their own judgment call on these characters and ultimately allowed me to gain a greater connection with these characters than any script could.

But that’s not to say that the narrative is perfect.  Its accomplishments still help it to stand head and shoulders above many games of its kind, but, much like the gameplay, it will have its baffling moments that are sure to raise a few eyebrows.  First of all, certain plot points feel relatively hastened through, missing key details that would keep the plot flowing smoothly or simply not giving a segment enough time to adhere to the player’s psyche and make any sort of impact.  I look to Karl’s attempt at escaping a P.O.W. camp with a fellow soldier as the shining example of this flaw.  Upon being surrounded by French forces in an abandoned barn and with the other soldier dead and sprawled on the ground, Karl manages to escape capture only by hiding behind a bale of hay and swapping his dog tag with his dead comrade, somehow convincing the French to leave the area and end their search.  So, I guess were just gonna forget about the fact that they were looking for TWO men, not just one, not to mention that switching dog tags will just make the soldiers think that you’re the other man that they’re looking for.  Moments like this don’t exactly shatter Valiant Heart’s immersion, but strengthening said immersion isn’t one of their strong points either.

The other big problem stems from the game’s attempt at comic relief.  With the amount of death and destruction facing the player in nearly every mission, it comes as no surprise that the developers would want to try and lighten the mood periodically.  And I’m more than willing to acknowledge that the humor can be very effective in its own right.  Baron Von Dorf actively acts like a comically over-the-top villain during your encounters with him, German soldiers are just a step away from using flappy jaw animations when they speak and even the musical driving mini-games, as out of place as they are, still manage to deliver a few laughs, if only because of how outright ridiculous they can get. 

The problem is not that the humor isn’t effective, but rather that there is a lack of synergy between it and the dramatic elements of the game.  We’re not exactly dealing with a black comedy in Valiant Hearts, so any attempt at humor will naturally feel inappropriate.  But, it doesn’t even seem like the humor is stemming from simply trying to cut loose a little bit and crack a joke in order to cope with the violence, as can be expected from soldiers during their down time.  Every attempt at humor can be attributed to the games attempts at being cartoonish, which simply does not blend well with a narrative that wants us to understand just how dark war can be.  It feels like we’re dealing with two separate scripts that someone tried to meld into one, albeit with most of the script being on the more serious side.  Comedy can be effective when referencing war, but only if that is the main goal of your story.  Otherwise, it’s just going to seem like the developers can’t decide on what they even want to produce.

Thankfully, like many of this game’s flaws, problems like this don’t do much to harm this game’s image, especially because of its sheer emotional appeal, arguably its strongest asset.  What Valiant Hearts gets better than anything else is its ability to help us truly understand what war is like; not just combat, but EVERYTHING that war can beget.  Mission structure can be rather simplistic, but it is the variety of subjects that are tackled that attribute to this.  You get to see the successful battles, rally the troops and standing victorious as the Central Powers retreat, and the major defeats, with the Allies recuperating as they tend to their wounded and honor their dead.  You get to see French forces reveling in their successes and partying to old-timey music and you get to see them in their darker hours, their uniforms covered in patches and the scars of war beginning to materialize.  One second, you’ll be exploring a relatively peaceful city in France, and the next, you’ll be rummaging through the ruins of that same city after a bombing run, doing your best to save and assist as many civilians as you can.

The Allied forces won't be the only one see the destruction of war firsthand.

 And even the moods set by these missions feel fitting.  You feel like you can take a breather and relax during more peaceful sequences, with the sun shining down upon you and light musical pieces playing in the background.  But as soon as the bombs drop or someone is at death’s door, your fight-or-flight instincts are guaranteed to start kicking up, with the skies darkened by smoke and fire and explosion constantly attempting to overload your senses as you try to maneuver past each challenge.

And then there’s the human aspect.  War can have a great psychological impact on individuals, as you’ll no doubt see and feel.  However, Valiant Hearts goes further than this and serves as a reminder that whether you want to acknowledge it or not, you’re still fighting fellow human beings.  Outside of the combat, you’ll play through a number of instances where you’ll either see the war through the eyes of the Germans, be it when they are celebrating and carrying on after having taken a French base or maintaining a miserable existence inside of the P.O.W. camp, or actually interact with and assist them in some way, like how Emile encounters a German soldier trapped in an underground tunnel system and helps him escape, only for the French generals to order the German tunnels blown up, killing Emile’s German acquaintance and effectively rendering Emile disillusioned about the war.  Taking all this into account, we still find ourselves wondering why governments love to throw out propaganda during wars, painting the enemy as bloodthirsty monsters and godless heathens, as if it weren’t blatantly obvious.  It’s a hell of a lot easier to kill someone when you think they embody evil, instead of recognizing them as a man like yourself who’s fighting for his country the same way that you’re fighting for yours.

And even the little details can drive home just war is capable of.  The key to creating either a captivating story or an immersive world in a video game all comes down to details.  Ironically enough, if you can’t nail down the seemingly minute stuff in your game, many of your strengths will be all for naught, as they all need a foundation to be built upon.  Without it, the strengths now seem pointless and without direction.  It is through these small details that Valiant Hearts truly captures the look and feel of Europe during World War I.  During healing mini-games, you hear the victim’s heartbeat as they moan in pain, trying their damnedest to withstand having a broken bone being set in place or having a bullet removed from their side.  Corpses are scattered across the battlefields as you push forward to the next turret emplacement.  Civilians and soldiers alike will scream in fear and agony as every structure around them turns to rubble in the face of continuous mortar bombardments. 

And then there’s the Nivelle Offensive.  Noted for being one of the most devastating Allied losses in the entire war, the offensive lead to over 200,000 soldiers losing their lives and the developers wasted no effort in reminding you of this.  The moment you start this mission late into the game, you’ll be controlling Emile, being told by his commanding officer to scrounge up any soldiers he can find for the next push in the offensive, many of whom are either sick or already injured.  Before you even leave the camp, you’ll notice the background littered with bandaged, bloodied soldiers (this is one of the only levels that actually features blood, by the way) as medics pour into the camp with even more victims of the offensive, a grim reminder of what is to come for the next participants. 

I dare anybody to show me a picture that better displays the brutality of war than this.

The further you move into the battle, the worse things will get.  More and more of your already injured squad mates will be shot down; mortars will pour down like rain, making most segments ridiculously unnerving; the sounds around you will begin to blur into a dull ringing; Emile will literally be forced to climb hills of corpses and hide behind carts filled with dead French soldiers in order to advance.  And all of this will happen while a French officer pressures the squad forward at gunpoint, eventually trying to get them to run out into the sights of several machine gunners with no cover whatsoever to rely on.    Emile, much like ourselves, will have had enough and smacks the officer upside the head with his shovel, fracturing his skull and killing him instantly, causing Emile to be arrested and tried for mutiny. 

And even though the game has had its fair share of brutality up to this point, I feel that it is this mission that serves as a testament to what war can do to a person and how successful Valiant Hearts is at encapsulating this sensation.  Like Emile, I was utterly drained and jaded by the time the game ended.  I really found myself wondering if all of this mayhem was really worth it in the end; if all the dead soldiers and civilians were worth it; if the physical and psychological scars were worth it.  This is the power of Valiant Hearts: it doesn’t just give you an idea of what World War I was like.  It makes you truly perceive and understand why it is so detested and what kind of damage it can do.  And while it may stray from the path here and there and suffer from some minor flaws, there is no mistaking that it has captured the spirit of war and its awful power more effectively than even the most experienced war novelists could hope to.